If He Can’t Have Her

Like a fish out of water
he gasps
the air an enemy to his lungs
but more, he needs more
because either way he’s suffocating
and he’ll take it no other way
as the alternative is without her
and there’s just no way its worth it
to survive with her with someone else
someone who isn’t himself
so he gasps again
taking in as much of the toxic air as he can
before staying in the forever memory
of when they were together
a sleep from which he hopes he won’t awake

Without Walls

In the pit of my stomach
I feel it rise
Anxiously
Nervously
As the truth is never easily swallowed
The bile spills out
Tormenting lies of time and company
Revealed
Exposed
A stinging blow to the core
Though this news isn’t new
Rather desperately denied
As naivety prompts easier living
Drowning
Plummeting
A heart merely held together by bandages and a thread of hope
that this will be the last time I get hurt
When my walls come down

Note To Self

Dearest Me,
Do not to forget who we used to be,
The one who’d pick up all the pieces of our torn mentality
Remember when our heart was split;
Lungs tight, we couldn’t even breathe
The feeling was so damn near fatal,
it was a struggle just to see,
because our eyes would burn and tingle
from the nights we’d spend awake
Crying & swearing that we never let
another close enough to break
us down like that, and forget not
the misconception of our lies
The battle between heart and mind and seldom what’s between our thighs
Beneath out skin is where we’d hide,
Yet visible for all to see,
but not available for help
The only one for us,
is Me.

Hard Day’s Work

Calluses
Hands & feet
Lingering ache from prominent use
Cracked skin
Blood dried, stained
Long hours paved in caffeine
Heavy eyes
Bones stiff
Hunger bellows from within
Wearied lungs
Muscle strained
One day done, new one begins

Brenda

Brenda laid her head down on the pillow
Wearied from the week she’d had
Yet
Grateful that she’d seen another
Trusting in life so deceptively that her routine to wake the next morning felt sure
She found herself eyes shut tight
Breathe in, breathe out
Off into the world of interim sleep
Where she sauntered slowly across the desert
The warmth sustained comfortably low
A temperature too perfect for too long to be real
For in a dream like this, pure pleasantries trailed
And she assumed, yet again
That the routine to wake would follow shortly after
Knowing not of her slowing heartbeat to ensue a few short hours into her innocent slumber
That would trap her in this stage of solitude eternally

Thirsty

My veins are fiending for you, strong

Strung out on your absence

Drench my throat with that familiar burn and stir up my balance

My body memorized by your lyric like flow

Play your song in me

Your splendid hazel mix blasting my being in a frenzy of the chaos desired

Savoured from the neck down

Beads raced to meet my chin as you warm my shell

Oh the memory

Swallow me in your world of fluidity; as I thirst to be craved

As much as you

 

 

 

Til’ Death

Take my hand, let’s dance

Forget everything that’s happened

All your troubles will disperse when our feet glide across the floor

“Oh sweet Death, please don’t forsake me”

Darling, all of my plans are pure

We’ll spin and stride along the clouds and you will thank me ever more

Just close your eyes, Darling, trust me

“Sweet Death, I fear the following shadow”

Darling, its just my hidden angel peaking softly from the sky

Worry not of our short journey, for its planned for you and I

“I’m feeling a bit weak, sweet Death. Have we a moments rest?”

Why of course my dearest darling, lay your head upon my chest

Watch as we sail across the floor, at the most hastened speed

Lighter than air, we’ll float

You rest; fear not for I will lead.

Bad Medicine

You are like water in my lungs,
I breathe you down fast
and suffocate on all the ways you bring out the worst in me;
To go without you warrants far worse
excruciating pain spurring numbness to my limbs and
tingles to the lips with every kiss we don’t need;
Time between the sheets pour unforgettable memories
down every inch of my body
Goosebumps to your touch
Razors in my heart
And I hate you so good that I love you,
for you spark the death in me that makes me
want to live

Bang To the Head

A low punch to the ribs
Three swift kicks to the shin
BANG, the ground is met with her head

Nails slice across her cheek
Blood trickles slow
Puddles of water form beneath her eyes

Silent grunts as fists fly
A brawl, indeed
Daddy raised a tomboy and momma didn’t raise no fool

Her ankle meets his middle
Down he plunders, hard
Brush off, stand up

Flick, the tip of her cigarette ignites
He grunts, still
Throbbing pains to the head warn injury

“If it ain’t against a headboard,”
Ash tumbles from her smoke stick
“it just ain’t worth it.”

Time Bomb

Circling the drain
I am circling the drain
Getting desperate to explain
Exactly why I’ve gone insane
Maybe somethings gotten mixed up
Somewhere deep inside my brain
And without a resolution
All the voices will complain
That I’m circling the drain
I am circling the drain
Checked out of my reality
Drugged up on novacaine