The Silent Screams of Gaia

She whirls with anger, ruckus in the wind,
defeat ripping the leaves from Her limbs, murderous

The loud groans of the heavy-engined monsters drown out the smooth
melodies of the winged choir,
the critters run blindly along the smoggy roots and stones,
their nearby comfort a distant memory
while the plants scream a silence the pierces the soul
of Her terrain

In Her own defense, She pulls the rain from the clouds,
scraping Her nails across the sky and leaving Her threats
of bright lit bolts

With a heavy downpour, She begs, She pleads through the
waves nearest to the furthest seas for the simplicity of being,
but Her sorrows go ignored and shall continue so,
for the infiltrating noise surpasses the frequency of peace
with the intention to crack Her core,

And it is then, with unfortunate delight, that She may engulf
us all into Her fiery wrath

Arduous Ascension

Don’t let yourself fall privy to excuses,
butter up your bruises,
abuses will slip from the surfaces they cruise;
and the crisis your fighting is lying,
those arms are made for flying,
no crying or reality denying;

Aimed for over the moon but it’s tricky,
the target isn’t sticky,
picky choices make your skin feel really icky;
and no, it’s not all in your head,
you really heard what was said,
what led you to find comfort amongst dread;

Treaded on the path that’s much less traveled,
looks like thickened quicksand but its gravel,
cavil comments won’t make the truth quickly unravel;
each step is heavy, but it’s made,
trust, be not afraid
hindsight to reveal you’re really glad you stayed.

Literary Cluster Pt .5

I. When you wish upon a star
no one tells you its a sham
makes no difference who you are
the whole thing is just a scam

II.
Just because I’m not heard
doesn’t mean I’ll resort to silence
There is always violence
But it spurs no results so I’ll
pursue the enlightened guidance
that I’m provided
Instructed to scream it all out
and without out a doubt
I’ll attract tons of nonsense
It’ll reign on my conscience
That I have to be honest
Only one road to obtain solace
promises
I’m not just a novice
experience has shown me your hand
revealed all your plans
and risked your demands

III.

And I’ll take them to the grave
Every secret that I’ve saved
Of all the hidden wrongs and rights
And hasty choices that I’ve made
The consequences made me brave

IV.
How do I let go if I didn’t know I was holding on in the first place?
How do I forget those chocolate brown eyes
if I didn’t notice I memorized your face?
How do I erase memories that changed who I am and everything I have become?
How do I live with pretending to know nothing of who you are or where you’re from?

V.

Hey there sour puss

What’s with the puckered face

Got your self a taste of bitter

In this wicked, wicked place

Tongue a little pinched and punched

Eyes squint, filled with wet despair

Mindless drones will send you home

But its no better there

VI.
I caught a flight down to Georgia
tried to get my bearings back
Stepped off the plane and felt the
heat trickle from my forehead to my collar bone
It was muggy
But it meant I felt something
Something other than the arrow to my
heart
because all I ever feel is pain
Its the easiest thing to feel
So there I was
standing in what I could only assume some
form of hell felt like
Dehydrating flames
Draining my moisture without movement
and all I could think to do was
get back on that plane and face everything
that I was running from

Assignation

What even is time, but unfair?
A supposed well-deserved title for a forced throne
as I wish merely for the sweet escape of your company
where the background fades to the loudest silence
committed to our moment
the truest adoration hops elegantly from note to note
your pheromones a natural concoction of obsession

Tinder glances beneath the whisps of brown curly curtains
that shield your cocoa eyes, especially from my gaze
while our breath dances together; in sync our lungs respire
We tempt to risk the fates set by Venus for our own temporary delight
thoughts to show up in the light, tip-toe from the shadows
but without a healthy plan, disaster a fortune from the simple

With barely minutes left to spare, a separation nears
Reminders of limits set a neurotic frenzy above my shoulders
and makes a buzzing ring my ears
and when you notice, you always do
another notch in the column of reasons why we should
out-notching the reasons why we won’t
and shall not ever, still

Box

I got a box of your things,
express-shipped grief,
that for a while I couldn’t bring myself to open
until I did

And I held your hat in my hands
and stuffed the fabric to my face,
unbothered by the tears that gathered at my chin
because it smelled just like you

I could hear your laugh the harder I squeezed it
and see your smile the longer I closed my eyes
Each time I breathed in, blissful ignorance disrupted
with the reality that you’re not there

Into the memory I tried to climb
into the one where you’re wearing your hat
and laughing so big at my attempts to warn you
how chaotically not fashionable that hat is;
was,
but you love it so much that you wear it anyway
smiling all the while, and me too, because after all, it’s you.

Until slowly my smile faded
while I stared at the memory of you,
while my hands held the proof
and my heart carried the weight
of resonating reminders that you’re still not here
and won’t be any more.

Reconnect

Stop.

stop where you are and reconnect;
what do you hear?
the breeze, the wind?
the blood rushing within?
and what do you smell?
dew evaporating into the clouds?
a hint of Fall and cinnamon?
see, what do you see?
an open armed sky?
the land that holds your feet?
and my love,
lest it be forgotten,
breathe,
take it in;
what do you feel?

now let it out.

Controlled Rage, I Promise

Your list of one-way demands leaves my hands quaking,

aching,

shaking for the fear of life taking,

but a deep breath will have to do,

because I’ll wreck me if I wreck you.

Sorry, I Won’t Make It

The realization that I can’t be there hits like a ton of bricks
A cruel and sudden reality that I expected, no less,
but still literally rocks my core;
so much so that the nausea arises in a violent uproar.

My stomach twists tightly to the left,
writhing itself away from the the direction of the heart-wrench.
But all it really does is make my earlier meal
of water and half a cup of rice race towards the back of my throat
where it sits on escape-ready.

My heart is doing all kinds of nonsense;
skipping beats, racing like Seabiscuit, or even at times stopping all together.
Is it a heart attack?
With the way my luck is going, I could only be so lucky.

But of course, it’s mostly anxiety.
The kind that sends a jumble of words sprinting through my mind;
intrusive and impulsive thoughts alike
frolicking near the execute button,
but I’ve managed control still, somehow.

That’s how I’ve come to find myself lying in the middle of my bedroom floor;
sprawled out like a starfish at the bottom of the ocean.

I’d rather be a starfish.

Please Be A Nightmare

My head is too loud
and it’s going too fast about things
that I don’t want to be real

but what I want doesn’t matter and hasn’t for a while
and that’s been fine until now
and all I can ask for
just this one time
is for it all to be a nightmare

because this can’t be a dream
and even nightmares don’t last forever
at some point the dreamer wakes up in a stupor
with a sweat on their brow, surrounded by their pillows
and the realization that none of it was real
that it was all in their heads
where it belongs, where it should stay
because the way this bad news screams
the way it drowns out every instinctual distraction
and each attempt to compartmentalize these feelings
into the box way in the back
where it’s too dark and dusty to see
and too old to speak or hear
each attempt blocked by the louder voice in my head
shouting to be seen
screaming “this is real”
so loud that its deafening

my heart can feel each syllable of every word
and with every beat, it rips that much more
and I convince myself that if I hold it together just a little longer
I’ll get to the part where none of this were real
and everything will go back to before

and then there’s that incessant noise of truth again
shifting the blood in my veins like the waves in a storm
clashing against my skin
sending me into a dizzy mess within myself
shushing the thunderous voice in my head
as I gasp for air
and beg for this all to be a nightmare

Word War

Annihilated
completely decimated
almost eradicated into pieces
anything left non-existent
if it existed at all
with constant reminders of what it is not
of what it never has been
or what it has never felt
Quick, find shelter
Loose lips sink ships