Parting Words

It is what it is
and it ain’t what it ain’t
I haven’t the time, the drive
nor the strength
to fight for you
if you won’t fight for me
Honestly
This is how it has to be
for my sanity
Its not about my vanity
or how it looks to everyone
else and what they don’t see
Between us
reigns nothing but toxicity
And I can’t sleep
haven’t got the vibe to eat
my slowed heart beat
is proof that I’m a casualty
Quite naturally
the shots to my chest
actually
woke me up
everything’s happened so disasterly
I can’t believe
out of all of the catastrophe
we have to separate
and we can’t do it happily
But it is what it is
and it ain’t what it ain’t
and I still haven’t got the time,
the drive, nor the strength

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Destructive Repetitive Behaviour

There is no worse feeling than
being the target of his hate
and watching his words
dart towards my heart at
200 miles per hour and
I take it
Without a second thought,
I absorb each blow
and even though the tears will flow
I reassure myself that I’m fine
I manage to whisper that I’m okay
and that the pain doesn’t really hurt
That its what love feels like
because he’ll say he’s sorry,
sooner or later
and he’ll grab my hand just the way
I like and kiss me just the way that
he knows makes me melt
and everything will be okay again
until he reloads
and aims at my heart

Teach Me Your Wayward Ways

You’re everything that I’ve never had
and never thought I wanted,
unwarranted lust striking through my wall of trust,
ill-timed and everything that I don’t need,
but it feels so good.
Bad always feels so good.
When you bring out the devil in me,
make me question my morals, my ethics,
and still, I make the worst choice,
all in good fun.
That’s what you call it,
“good fun,”
when we’re on the run and we slip
between the cracks to ditch the fuzz.
A heart pounding kiss or whatever it was,
likely the adrenaline or the fear that normal people have
in normal…whatever this is,
I somehow find myself smiling through the danger.
To myself, I am a stranger,
free,
and with the last person I never needed,
to begin with.

When Its Necessary

Like a bitter pill

I swallow the idea

The realization of me without you

And not knowing what to do

Or how to find peace

I engorge on the verbal attacks

Parting is such sweet sorrow

Unless you leave with an angry face

And get yourself into the place

Where all you want to do is go

Anyway

So with a tall drink of water

I’ll take a swig and down the pill

And if you don’t, I know I will

Regret every choice hereafter

The Fight pt. 8

She took another step towards him,
slowly, like the speed of her tears
creeping down her face.
He hobbled backwards.
“Stay away from me,” he snarled
as he fell
back onto the cushions, the suede comfort
a reminder of his uncomfortable betrayal.
“I just-” she began, but paused.
She knew there was nothing she could say,
nothing she could do to fix this,
to fix them.
A quiver to her lip sent a spark to his groin
and as she backed away, all he could imagine
was pulling her closer.