Remembering My Mother

I just remember she was mad
And then we had a dog
There were a lot of times like that
My favorite part of looking back
were the moments most unplanned
Like when she pulled us out of school to
escape to Disneyland and we couldn’t even believe it
We thought it was a trick to get us to the dentist office without pitching a fit
But it wasn’t
And it was the moment we were spinning in the pink teacup
smiling crazy cause just hours prior we were counting down to recess that
we realized we’d struck gold in our mother
Her imperfect perfection and abundance of compassion
often left us punishing ourselves for the poor choices we’d made as letting her down
actually hurt
And as the time went by and our minds got older, so did she
But life gets greedy and made a meal of her soul way before we were old enough to understand that there is no control to the time of parting
Only the acceptance
And without that step, the memories are hard
The memories hurt,
Dried tears on our shirt when we’d reminisce years later reminded us that we’re still a long way from being okay
And that grief is a timeless son of a bitch